In Search of the Lost Self: How to Survive and Thrive with Borderline Personality Disorder

by Lawrence JW Cooper
Twenty years ago while I was in the throes of depression, I received a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I was an Educational Psychologist with a Masters in Psychology, and yet, I had never heard of BPD. Not until recently, when I started doing a series of blogs on BPD, have I really come to understand it. I now pat myself on the back for not only surviving, but now thriving, with this disorder. I will always live with some of the symptoms that I will describe in this book, but I have not only discovered how to manage them, but I now realize that I have actually grown into the person I am because of them. I am now living the life I truly love living. In this book I want to let you know what living with BPD is like and perhaps give you a few hints on how to manage it.

This book is written like a journal with prose and poetry. The prose includes the story of my experiences in going through an eighteen-week period of intensive clinical group therapy along with my psychological insights into BPD and depression. The poetry describes the emotions and feelings associated with these experiences. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression and/or borderline personality disorder, or you have a loved one who is, I hope this book will help my readers recognize that they are not alone, mental disorders are nothing to be ashamed of, and that getting treatment is just as important as seeking professional assistance for any other medical issue.

Here is an example of the prose:

I don’t know how it happened or when it happened, but somewhere along the way my generalized anxiety turned into depression. I woke up one morning with a feeling that my life had no meaning, and my dreams for early retirement and a life of peace were hopeless. I could not shake it.  For the first time in my life, I was no longer in control. I felt so totally helpless. My doctor put me on a low dosage of Wellbutrin, and I went to see a fellow psychologist, but nothing seemed to help.

I have had the pleasure of being present at one of Lawrence’s poetry readings. He is not only an excellent writer in the field of psychology and self-help, but his ability to transfer the emotion from the written word to the powerful vibration of the voice leaves no one in the audience untouched.

Catherine Hedrich

Editor in Chief,