Generalized anxiety disorder is usually present in every mental disorder, even clinical depression.

The neighbor’s dog barks continuously for hours
separation anxiety
because its master is away.
The man across the street plays with his toys again today,
the ride-on tractor lawnmower
the leaf blower
the grass trimmer.
Down the street they are tearing down an old house
to build a bigger one,
hammers pound
saws whine
The guy across this country estate
Is chainsawing,
cutting up logs for his fireplace
that will churn smoke into my face
during my evening walks
Back up beepers on the dump trucks down the road
warns everyone not there
that they are fixing the roads and the water mains,
They grind gears,
rev motors.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
My  head pounds out a haphazard rhythm.
my neck muscles pack tightly
squeezing my lungs.

I speak unkind words.

I hear unkind words.

I CAN’T BREATHE.

Panic.
I need to breathe,

deeply.
In eight second…
hold eight seconds…
breath out eight seconds…
hold eight seconds…
breaathe in eight seconds…


but it won’t go away,
because the noise in my mind will not quit.

Night comes
the leaky tap drips
I toss and turn in my sleep
I rehash all the sounds and images
that robbed me of peace in the day.

I regret the unkind words.

I awake
And then it all begins again.